The departure of Ramadan typically makes me mirror on my previous 9 Ramadans as a mom. Once I was pregnant with my first child, I had tried my finest to quick, however it was too troublesome. I gave beginning to her on the 9th day of Ramadan, and similar to that, I discovered myself overwhelmed with the exhaustion and delight of my new child – together with a complete month of fasts to make up.
Fasting Whereas Pregnant
It was narrated from Sahl bin Sa’d that the Prophet stated:
“In Paradise, there’s a gate referred to as Rayyan. On the Day of Resurrection, the decision will exit saying: ‘The place are those that used to quick?’ Whoever is amongst those that used to quick will enter it, and whoever enters it should by no means expertise thirst once more.” [Sunan Ibn Majah 1640]
I requested my mom how she fasted whereas pregnant and elevating all six of us, and she or he shrugged and stated she simply did. SubhanAllah. Might Allah reward all our foremothers for his or her energy! Impressed by my mom’s instance, I used to be decided to not add to my qada fasts with my subsequent pregnancies. My sister-in-law gave me an unbelievable tip about soaking chia seeds in a single day and having that for a suhoor drink. That extremely hydrating drink labored wonders, particularly when combined with lime juice and brown sugar or honey. Certain, I nonetheless felt thirsty, particularly after I nursed my child/toddler, however Allah
gave me the energy to bear it regardless of my battle.
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Alhamdulilah, Allah gave me the flexibility to quick all through Ramadan whereas I used to be pregnant with my second child and breastfeeding my toddler, and whereas I used to be pregnant with my third child. SubhanAllah, throughout my pregnancies, my power bronchial asthma flare-ups – one thing that might trigger me to interrupt my quick after I wanted my inhaler – resolved. I’m grateful I didn’t have every other pre-existing or new medical circumstances that made fasting too troublesome for me. By the Mercy of Allah
, all of my infants arrived full-term and wholesome. Each girl and each being pregnant is totally different, so please seek the advice of together with your Muslim physician first. My intention is to not disgrace those that can’t quick, however a reminder that fiqh-wise, the default is to at the very least attempt to quick when one is pregnant and/or breastfeeding.
Muslim Worldview
“Or who’s it that might present for you if He withheld His provision? However they’ve continued in insolence and aversion.” [Surah Al Mulk: 67;21]
Fasting whereas pregnant and/or breastfeeding can sound unthinkable to non-Muslims. Why would a pregnant girl, answerable for nourishing her child, abstain from meals and water throughout daylight? Isn’t that dangerous and irresponsible? That is the place the Muslim worldview comes into play. Allah sustains us and our infants, from heartbeat to heartbeat, and from breath to breath. Fasting whereas pregnant and breastfeeding was and is an train in trusting Allah
, who retains us all alive each single day.
That being stated, when girls do battle to quick, then Allah’s Mercy is there for us too. Within the Shafi’i college of thought, if a pregnant or breastfeeding girl breaks her quick purely for the newborn’s well-being, then she has to make it up later and pay fidya. If she breaks her quick resulting from concern for herself or concern for herself and the newborn, then she solely has to make up the quick with out fidya.
Design for Success
Hisham stated, “I requested ‘A’isha, ‘What did the Prophet, could Allah bless him and grant him peace, do in his home?’ She replied, ‘He did what one in all you’d do in his home. He mended sandals and patched clothes and sewed.” [Al-Adab Al-Mufrad 540]
Alhamdulilah, the fixed help of my husband and mother-in-law made fasting in Ramadan (and changing my fasts outdoors of Ramadan) considerably simpler. We divided the chores of getting groceries, prepping meals, and getting our youngsters washed, fed, and dropped off and picked up from college. As a family with young children and an elder, we prioritized our worship and didn’t exit for fancy iftars, nor did we host lavish ones. We stored it easy. After we hosted our family members for iftar, it was pot-luck type, so we might all share within the barakah. I’m so grateful that my mother-in-law and late father-in-law (could Allah have mercy on him) raised a son who actively participates in family duties, simply because the Prophet
did, which eases the burden from me.
Muslim mother and father [PC: Patrick Boucher (unsplash)]
I strongly suggest having these division-of-domestic-labor discussions with one’s partner and/or prolonged members of the family earlier than Ramadan. Within the Shafi’i college of thought, home tasks (together with cooking) isn’t the spouse’s accountability – any family activity that she does do is taken into account charity. It makes a distinction when the day by day accountability to run a family, put together meals, and clear up afterward is shared, as a substitute of unfairly assumed to be the lady’s activity. This provides wives and moms the well-deserved alternative to take turns going to tarawih, learn Qur’an in peace, and even simply relaxation and make dua’. It’s essential to provide youngsters the chance to share within the Ramadan reward too by giving them easy duties like setting the desk or placing their dishes away. This fashion, the entire household will get to worship Allah in Ramadan; united as a staff.
Paying Again Fasts
Narrated `Aisha
:
Allah’s Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) stated, “Do good deeds correctly, sincerely, and reasonably, and know that your deeds is not going to make you enter Paradise, and that probably the most beloved deed to Allah is probably the most common and fixed even when it have been little.” [Sahih al-Bukhari 6464]
Over the ups and downs of elevating little youngsters, it took me a few years to pay again my fasts. There have been occasions when my debt to Allah felt countless, and it felt like I’d by no means pay it again. My husband inspired me to maintain going, and to take a look at the times I had paid again as a substitute of how a lot I had left. I sought consolation within the instance of our Woman Hajar
. She was alone within the desert with a crying child, and ran out of meals and water. She didn’t collapse in despair and perish together with her son. Relatively, she ran backwards and forwards, striving to search for sustenance, till Allah
miraculously caused Zamzam on the toes of her crying baby.
As an alternative of viewing paying again my fasts as a burden, it helped to view it by means of the lens of Allah giving me the chance to revisit the spirit of Ramadan all year long, and all through the seasons of my life.
Modeling Contentment
Narrated Al-Qasim:
`Aisha stated, “We set out with the only intention of performing Hajj and after we reached Sarif, (a spot six miles from Mecca) I obtained my menses. Allah’s Messenger ﷺ got here to me whereas I used to be weeping. He stated ‘What’s the matter with you? Have you ever obtained your menses?’ I replied, ‘Sure.’ He stated, ‘It is a factor which Allah has ordained for the daughters of Adam. So do what all of the pilgrims do aside from the Tawaf (circumambulation) around the Ka`ba.” `Aisha added, “Allah’s Messenger ﷺ sacrificed cows on behalf of his wives.” [Sahih Al Bukhari 294]
I’ve two younger daughters. When the time comes, I need them to like their intervals and combine womb care into their day by day lives. That is extra prone to occur in the event that they observe me doing the identical, by means of all of the seasons of my life, particularly on the subject of my worship. As soon as, I was aggravated after I obtained my interval throughout Ramadan and grumbled about what number of days I needed to pay again. Motherhood has modified that. I now welcome that point to relaxation, as a substitute of pushing myself by means of exhaustion. I get higher at listening to my physique and nourishing myself with natural tea, meals, water, and relaxation. I’m grateful that I’m additionally rewarded for not fasting when I’m on my interval. Paying again my fasts from my pregnancies has taught me the present of acceptance, as a substitute of preventing actuality.
Making Ramadan Recollections
Making Ramadan reminiscences [PC: Masjid MABA (unsplash)]
My three younger youngsters are actually studying the way to quick, in the future at a time. They take pleasure in going to the wonderful Ramadan bazaars with my husband and shopping for scrumptious meals to convey residence for us to interrupt our quick. We reward them for nevertheless lengthy they handle to quick. Ever since they have been infants, they have been capable of sense when Ramadan arrived. and cry till we’d carry them down and be a part of us for suhoor. Now they’re sufficiently old to stroll downstairs with us! They’re nonetheless too younger for us to take them to the masjid for tarawih, however we are able to pray in congregation at residence. As an added bonus, they get to decide on what sort of favourite meals they need me to prepare dinner or order in throughout Ramadan. I’ve fond reminiscences from my childhood of being paid a greenback for every day I fasted, and I can proceed this custom with my very own youngsters.
I hope and pray that over the course of their childhoods, my youngsters’s Ramadan reminiscences and Ramadan traditions will strengthen their connection to Allah not solely throughout childhood, however all through their lives as adults. Childhood reminiscences like these flip into robust emotional ties associated to religion, and can stay of their hearts as they get older. Generally, it’s the energy of those constructive associations with worship that make it simpler for youngsters and younger adults to take care of their connection to the Deen even when they’re battling different non secular challenges.
Conclusion
Every Ramadan provides us moms a stupendous month-long alternative to quick for Allah’s sake – with the merciful choice of breaking our fasts and paying them again alongside a fidya, whether it is too troublesome for us. Though it takes a lot endurance and compassion to lift little ones, and despite the fact that it may be so troublesome generally, what comforts me is understanding that these constructive reminiscences can carry by means of their grownup lives, lengthy after I’m gone.What we’re constructing, one fasting day at a time, is a bridge to the afterlife, the place we await the huge mercy of Allah
. Might Allah
reunite us with our youngsters and all believers in Jannahtul Firdous, and thru the door of Rayyan.
Associated:
Ramadan With A New child: Life Seasons, Ibaadah, And Intentionality
Ramadan Planning for Moms: Obstacles & Options